Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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