I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
