We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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