I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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