Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
