i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
should my penis look like a turkey
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
