just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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