I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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