I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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