Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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