Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
