threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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