we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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