The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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