when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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