I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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