He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
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Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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