Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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