so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
