She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
