I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
