Just cropdusted the office
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
