He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize