That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
