That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
