I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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