i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
