I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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