PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
