So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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