too bad you live with your parents still
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
