I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
