also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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