you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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