I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
