Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
sarcasm needs its own font
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
