Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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