how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
