you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
