Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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