there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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