Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
