I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
