I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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