Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
