I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
