When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
