he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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