ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
