Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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