Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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