Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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