im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
