gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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