so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
