i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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