Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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