I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize