didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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