my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
