the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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