It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
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Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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