It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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