I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
