we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
