A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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