She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
