i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My dick has a subreddit
Let's get the cat blown out
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
