just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
