Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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