Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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