I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize